Learning to Live With a Chronic Condition
More and more people are getting diagnoses of chronic conditions. These can range from diabetes to chronic fatigue syndrome and can feel like a huge blow. Learning to live with a long-term or even lifelong condition means, in most cases, a complete lifestyle overhaul. This means that anyone supporting someone in that situation must find ways to help their loved one make and maintain that shift. Here’s how you can get started on that journey:
Listen and Learn
In the beginning, a chronic condition diagnosis usually feels scary, unknown, and even unknowable. For many conditions like fibromyalgia and long Covid, there’s a lack of information about how to heal simply because they haven’t been studied for long. The person with the diagnosis may feel lost, angry, hurt, and confused. They may also blame themselves or begin pointing fingers outward. If you’re providing support, you have a huge role here.
Your first job upon making this discovery is simply to listen. Let your loved one vent, rage, and cry over the diagnosis if they need to. Ask open-ended, compassionate questions, and then be present and responsive when they talk. From there, you can begin to educate yourself on your loved one’s condition through literature, workshops, and online educational videos. Be careful not to fall into scams, quick fixes, or gimmicks. It’s important to follow trusted sources with peer reviewed publications.
Ask What They Need
As you learn more about the condition, your next step in support is to ask your loved one what they need from you. They may feel like they’ve got a handle on the home front, like childcare and housecleaning. But maybe they need help with understanding new ways of working, managing their schedules, or even cooking. It’s hard to transform a lifestyle even in the most urgent situations, so keep checking in to see how you can provide tangible help.
One way you can get your friend or family member to open up and accept help is to provide a list of lifestyle changes people in similar situations have made. You can check threads online and blogs from doctors who specialize in your loved one’s specific field. Then, sit with your friend or family member and go over the list. One by one, check off items they have covered, and figure out which items you can take on to help. Then set a schedule for how you’ll fulfill those tasks in ways your loved one can depend on.
Provide Nutrients
What your loved one puts in their body can have a huge impact on how they feel and how they heal. In many cases, a chronic condition, like heart disease or diabetes, may have been partially caused by a lack of nutrients or an overabundance of the wrong types of food. In order to manage or even pull themselves out of this condition, they’ll need to make major changes. But a lifetime of negative habits can feel impossible to change.
You can help by providing those nutrients. You can put together a ‘thinking of you’ care package chock full of healthy foods like chicken soups, casseroles, and even dense bean salads. These can help your loved one get more energy, heal hurting body parts, and hopefully add some joy to their day. You might also create a basket with healing roots and herbs for teas, like ginger, turmeric, lavender, peppermint, elderberry, and echinacea. These can be anti-inflammatory and help the body return to its optimal function, alongside a healthy diet, solid sleep, and exercise.
Assist Them With Movement
Speaking of exercise, many people with chronic conditions give up on the idea of exercise altogether. They may simply consign themselves to a downward decline for the rest of their lives. After all, it may hurt to move or feel exhausting to exert too much energy. The problem is that a lack of movement in most cases only makes chronic conditions worse. And the decline may speed up even more as your loved one succumbs to a sedentary lifestyle.
The reality is that almost everyone, regardless of their health condition, can benefit from some movement. Help your loved one talk to their specialist to find out what exercise is approved for their condition, and then join them in their movement. You could sign them up for the local YMCA and take swim classes. You might take short, slow walks at a local park. Or you could do some gentle yoga at a local studio. As a bonus, your loved one will get some added social time, which can boost their mood and help them see that their future can be bright.
Keep In Touch
Finally, chronic conditions are called chronic because they last a long time. But many people tend to think support is a one-time thing. You call, you bring a casserole, and you take a walk together. Then, you figure, they’re on their own. It makes sense. You probably have a busy life to get back to, and you figure your loved one has it figured out by now. But the reality is that, especially when it comes to lifestyle changes, it can be easy to fall off the horse and head into a decline.
For this reason, it’s important to provide ongoing support for someone with a chronic condition. Of course, you don’t want to sign up for more than you yourself are capable of. But consider making a date for biweekly or even monthly walks. Plan to bring a new meal over once a week. Or even jump on a phone call every Sunday night to see how the week ahead looks. Just hearing from someone who knows what they’re going through can make all the difference to someone trying to change their lives and their health.
In the end, it’s not easy to deal with a chronic condition diagnosis. But it’s also not easy to support the person with the diagnosis. Make sure you take care of yourself and your needs first. Then, take the most compassionate and engaged steps you can going forward. Listen, educate yourself, and provide food, exercise, and personal help as you can, and as your loved one asks for. The more loving and present you can be, the less likely your loved one is to feel alone.